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I just really like the West Australian politician Troy Buswell

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Hamish McLachlan is an Australian sports broadcaster currently employed with the Seven Network Austereo. 

Well, that’s according to his Wikipedia page – the operative word being ‘his’. Hamish McLachlan, or ‘Rompingwins’, truly owns his Wikipedia page. Since his creation of the page in 2010, the article has been filled with valuable information. The current version has been downsized, so it’s a little bare. Thankfully, the full archive of McLachlan’s personal alterations are still readable

Do you remember those kids in high school who were really bad at sport? They played everything, were obsessed with it, but were utterly hopeless. The tragedy was in their naivety: They didn’t realise their local footy club was a xenophobic boys club with extremely homosexual undertones. They loved sport so much, that they decided to make a ‘career’ out of it. They went to university, selecting one of the following out of a hypothetical hat: Sports science, sports management, journalism (with the hope of writing for the Herald Sun’s back pages), and any university degree where the dress code is shorts in winter. If you got them drunk enough, they’d tell you “I make myself feel better when I hang around with sportspeople!”. The thing is, they’d wake up, feel embarrassed, and try to avoid speaking to you again. Hamish, on the other hand, shows not an inkling of shame: He displays this sporting incompetency with pride. Onya, Hames!

Here’s an example of another fault. This time, a contradiction in terms: “Leading sporting event” and “Commonwealth Games”. Nice try, Macca.

For those of you who don’t know what the “AFL Hall of Fame and Sensation” was (which is likely a vast majority of even football fans), it was terrible. I never attended it, but then again, who did? Even poor football played in cerise jumpers on the Gold Coast lasted longer than this shit. From what I understand, it was like every piss weak world in Queensland: But, somehow, even worse. ‘Attractions’ included public humiliation: Which took the form of a booth in which you mimicked Dennis Cometti, before the fruits of your “centimetre perfect” labour would be played over a speaker; Futile handball competitions; And not much else. So to be fair to Hamish, this one wasn’t entirely his fault. But there remains an important question. Why would this career lowlight would be voluntarily included in, what is essentially, a resume? Only Rompingwings himself will ever know.

Ah, Hamish. What a guy, hey? I’m with you though, man. It shouldn’t be a taboo to tell the internet about your selfless philanthropy and charity work.

No further changes have been made to the page as the article is now locked. That means poor Hamish can’t add this anecdote to the article:

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